Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
