wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
