so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
