Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
