I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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