I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
