I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize