He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
