The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
