Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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