I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This house was built for laser tag.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
