The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
