looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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