so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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