Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
