He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
