just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
