Bisexual people are plain selfish.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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