my sisters under your porch take her home
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
