Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
