It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
