i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
