Are we in a gay sports bar?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
