ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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