What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
