i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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