going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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