Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
