You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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