This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think i got beer on your cat.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
