Cold hands, warm shart.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
