well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
