Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
