you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
