we have officially lost it.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Your tits are I can't wait for
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
