The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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