Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
