Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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