In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
