Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
People in love make me want to vomit
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
