Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
