I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
