Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
