"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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