If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
