If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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