dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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