you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
