Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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