Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
