come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
