She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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